There's no room to think or write at a time like this. No room for emotion, let down or complaints. As we walk through the days, weeks, often times months, and even some years of separation, the only way to be is numb, grateful and proud.
Very little gets you fired up, yet even the smallest things bring a smile to your face, a pain in your heart or a "thank you God" to your lips. Not all are aware of what is going on, or they are and they really don't understand. And then you remember your brothers and sisters, those who share the worry, pain, joy, pride and dedication. At times you may feel very alone, that while your spouse is away, you have been forgotten not only by friends and neighbors, but even by family. And that is exactly what you want, for every prayer and thought to reach your spouse and not even braise your blessed head.
And circumstantially a neighbor calls and invites you for dinner, a friend would love to take the kids for a couple hours, a kind note arrives in your inbox because there is love. And then ............ you let go of the pain ........... and the numbness sets in ........ and the time ............. it passes ......... and the impalpable is born. You forget about the tears because the man you are so deeply, madly in love with is away, but he is not gone and you are thankful.
You are thankful for each phone call and your mom's voice, that message your brother left, each email, chat, letter, visit from out of town guests, a latte dropped on your doorstep, a few sunny days at the playground, play groups buzzing with laughter and wine, meals made with love, for you and your little ones... your little ones ... those sweet, sweet babies... you are so thankful for them.
And so the weeks have made a month. And now he's on his way home. And you get butterflies in your gut, the same way you did when you first met. Your planning a special meal, picking out just the right outfit, bought a great bottle of Malbec... It's all over again and it is beautiful and the beauty is in you, the beauty is tomorrow.
3 comments:
You've got it too, sister. Lovely, lovely piece of writing. I am so happy for you, that Chris is coming home.
Was thinking about you yesterday and how excited you, Chris and the kids must have been to be reunited. I loved reading this post.
This is sad and beautiful and stunning, Liz. So so happy. love love.
Post a Comment